Someone Other Than a Mother
Flipping the Scripts on a Woman's Purpose and Making Meaning beyond Motherhood
Erin S. Lane
- Theologian
- Erin
- S.
- Lane
- overturns
- dominant
- narratives
- about
- motherhood
- and
- inspires
- women
- to
- write
- their
- own
- stories.Is
- it
- possible
- to
- do
- something
- more
- meaningful
- than
- mothering?As
- a
- young
- Catholic
- girl
- who
- grew
- up
- in
- the
- American
- Midwest
- on
- white
- bread
- and
- Jesus,
- Erin
- S.
- Lane
- was
- given
- two
- options
- for
- a
- life
- well-lived:
- Mother
- or
- Mother
- Superior.
- She
- could
- marry
- a
- man
- and
- mother
- her
- own
- children,
- or
- she
- could
- marry
- God,
- so
- to
- speak,
- and
- mother
- the
- world’s
- children.
- Both
- were
- good
- outcomes
- for
- someone
- else’s
- life.
- Neither
- would
- fit
- the
- shape
- of
- hers.Interweaving
- Lane’s
- story
- with
- those
- of
- other
- women—including
- singles
- and
- couples,
- stepparents
- and
- foster
- parents,
- the
- infertile
- and
- the
- ambivalent—Someone
- Other
- Than
- a
- Mother
- challenges
- the
- social
- scripts
- that
- put
- moms
- on
- an
- impossible
- pedestal
- and
- shame
- childless
- women
- and
- nontraditional
- families
- for
- not
- measuring
- up.
- You
- may
- have
- heard
- these
- lines
- before:“Motherhood
- is
- the
- toughest
- job.”
- This
- script
- diminishes
- the
- work
- of
- non-moms
- and
- pressures
- moms
- to
- make
- parenting
- their
- full-time
- gig.“It’ll
- be
- different
- with
- your
- own.”
- This
- script
- underestimates
- the
- love
- of
- nonbiological
- kin
- and
- pushes
- unfair
- expectations
- onto
- nuclear
- families.“Family
- is
- the
- greatest
- legacy.”
- This
- script
- turns
- children
- into
- the
- ultimate
- sign
- of
- a
- woman’s
- worth
- and
- discounts
- the
- quieter
- ways
- we
- leave
- our
- mark.With
- candor
- and
- verve,
- Someone
- Other
- Than
- a
- Mother
- tears
- up
- the
- shaming
- social
- scripts
- that
- are
- bad
- for
- moms
- and
- non-moms
- alike
- and
- rewrites
- the
- story
- of
- a
- life
- well-lived,
- one
- in
- which
- purpose
- is
- bigger
- than
- body
- parts,
- identity
- is
- fuller
- than
- offspring,
- and
- legacy
- is
- so
- much
- more
- than DNA.
