F.E.A.R. - Festive Eats and Recipes

FEAR, #4

Reeks: FEAR

Garrett Haptonstall

Leesfragment

€5,49

Welcome to FEAR: Festive Eats and Recipes, the holiday cookbook for people who love food but are exhausted by the relentless cheerfulness of traditional holiday guides. This isn't about perfect tablescapes or Instagram-worthy presentations—it's about surviving the holidays with dark humor, honest advice, and genuinely delicious food.

What's Inside:

This comprehensive cookbook covers all major holidays with over 100 recipes, each accompanied by brutally honest commentary that acknowledges the chaos of holiday cooking:

Halloween: Embracing the Void with Snacks From Deviled Eggs from the Depths to Cemetery Dirt Cups, discover recipes that celebrate death, sugar, and questionable food coloring decisions. Includes The Headless Horseman cocktail and Vampire's Revenge Garlic Pasta for when you need to ward off both vampires and unwanted social interactions.

Thanksgiving: Gratitude Through Gritted Teeth Master the brined turkey, perfect your mashed potatoes (with therapy butter, naturally), and learn why Green Bean Casserole from a Can is not only acceptable but preferred. Seven different pie recipes ensure you'll have dessert covered, even if dinner is a disaster.

Christmas: Commercialism Never Tasted Better Navigate the most expensive, exhausting holiday with recipes ranging from simple (Pigs in Blankets) to show-stopping (Beef Wellington). Includes six cookie recipes, each with realistic time estimates and emotional damage warnings.

New Year's Eve: False Hope in Appetizer Form Ring in the new year with champagne everything, caviar on blinis, and mini beef wellingtons. Because if you're going to make resolutions you won't keep, you might as well eat well while doing it.

Practical Appendices Include:

How to Diplomatically Handle Dietary Restrictions: Because everyone's allergic to something now

Wine Pairings for Maximum Tolerance: Pairing suggestions for both food and family drama

Emergency Meal Planning: What to do when everything goes catastrophically wrong

Leftover Alchemy: Transform holiday leftovers into actual meals you'll want to eat

Recipe Index by Difficulty and Emotional Damage: Know what you're getting into before you start

Why This Cookbook Is Different:

Unlike traditional holiday cookbooks that promise perfection and joy, FEAR acknowledges the reality: holidays are hard. But good food, dark humor, and realistic expectations can make them manageable—even enjoyable. Each recipe includes actual cooking instructions (these recipes work), but also provides the emotional support and honest commentary that other cookbooks skip.

Perfect for:

Home cooks tired of toxic positivity in food writing

Anyone hosting holidays out of obligation rather than enthusiasm

People who love their families but need humor to cope

Cooks who want real recipes with realistic expectations

Anyone who's ever eaten pie for breakfast on December 26th and felt no shame

FEAR: Festive Eats and Recipes won't promise that cooking will bring your family together or that the holidays will be magical. But it will give you damn good food and the dark humor needed to survive the season.

After all, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And dry turkey. Definitely dry turkey.