The Bride From Middleton

Life on the range ain't easy. I can tell you as much, and I should know. I've lived on my homestead for quite some time now, 6 years to be exact. In most of those years, I never had the privilege of touching a woman, or keeping her company. Yeah, most of my life on the range, I've spent being alone. Well, I had some company. I liked talking to my Colts and my carbine, but I guess they don't count, even if they've saved my life more times than I can count. By the way, my name's Henry.
Henry Schafenstein.