Sharks Aren't Real

Did you know that "sharks" are nothing more than Hollywood rubber puppets and Discovery Channel computer graphics? If they were real, producers of Jaws wouldn't have spent millions on a fake monster—they'd have just hired a trainer and rented one from SeaWorld. "Fluffy the Shark" would've been cheaper and way more entertaining.

And don't get me started on "Shark Week." It began as a joke, but the public actually fell for it. Now we're watching CGI fish and listening to surfers who "claim" they were bitten. Sure, buddy—next you'll tell me tornadoes can throw sharks at dairy farmers in South Dakota. (Oh wait, Sharknado already did that.)

This book will finally reveal the truth: Sharks aren't real.