Drawn But Not Forgotten

Newspaper obituary pages will eventually get us all, including the beloved cartoon characters we all grew up watching on TV during the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Humorist Kevin Lawson has taken this basic premise and as usual has run off the face of the Earth with it. Lawson shares the newspaper obituaries of the cast of characters who hit the heights, exited stage right even, or asked us to be very, very quiet. "Drawn But Not Forgotten" is one Gen X's man's homage to a time when Saturday mornings were sacred and gravity was rarely a factor.

Sylvester J. Cat: A Life Well Lived

Here lies Sylvester J. Cat, beloved feline and perennial underachiever, who departed this world after a valiant yet futile pursuit of that elusive, feathered nemesis, Tweety Bird. Born in a cardboard box on the wrong side of the alley, Sylvester spent his life perfecting the art of slapstick failure. His resume boasts a staggering collection of near-misses, including the infamous "piano drop" incident and the time he mistook a vacuum cleaner for a rival. Known for his signature lisp and a penchant for dramatic sighs, Sylvester's attempts at sophistication were often undermined by his own clumsiness. He leaves behind a legacy of cartoonish chaos, a collection of half-eaten birdseed, and a family of bewildered mice who are now free to roam without fear. In lieu of flowers, please send catnip, as Sylvester would have wanted to be remembered in a haze of blissful oblivion, preferably while napping.

Wile E. Coyote: Genius, Master Tactician

Wile E. Coyote, beloved icon of relentless ambition and unfortunate mishaps, passed away in a tragic yet predictably ironic accident involving an Acme rocket and a cliff. Born in the arid deserts of Arizona, Wile E. was known for his unwavering determination to catch the elusive Road Runner, a pursuit that led him to employ an array of increasingly absurd contraptions. Friends and family remember him as a creature of boundless optimism, often seen dusting himself off after yet another spectacular failure, only to return to the drawing board with a new scheme. His life was a testament to the idea that failure is merely a stepping stone to success—albeit a very, very steep one. Wile E. is survived by a collection of Acme products, a few singed feathers, and the Road Runner, who, despite his best efforts, remains blissfully unscathed. In lieu of flowers, please send anvils.