He Lied To Sleep With You.

The book,He Lied to sleep with you by Mfundo Ross Khoza, is a personal guide based on the author's experiences and insights into navigating romantic relationships and dating dynamics. It focuses on strategies for approaching and attracting partners, understanding relationship dynamics, and maintaining personal identity in love. The book is structured into several parts, each addressing different aspects of dating and relationships, often with a candid and pragmatic tone. Below is a summary of its key themes and content:

*Understanding Relationship Dynamics**: The author discusses concepts like "playing the field" (having multiple sexual relationships), "playing away from home" (infidelity), and the "5-4-1 formation" (a strategy for managing emotions and options in dating, page 42). He explores why women might play hard to get, often due to past emotional pain, and how to navigate these defenses (pages 12-14).

Dating Older Partners**: A significant portion of the book, particularly in Part Three, focuses on relationships with older women ("sugar mamas"). Khoza shares his experiences and offers tips on attracting and maintaining relationships with older partners, emphasizing emotional support, confidence, and understanding their needs (pages 48-56).

*Lust vs. Love**: The book distinguishes between lust (driven by physical attraction and immediate gratification) and love (based on trust, affection, and long-term commitment). Khoza provides insights into recognizing and managing lust to avoid destructive behaviors like cheating (pages 95-101).

*Manifesting Love**: Using principles like the Law of Attraction, the book advises readers on how to attract meaningful relationships by focusing on self-acceptance, gratitude, and clear intentions rather than desperation or loneliness. It includes tips for manifesting love, both generally and with specific individuals, while warning against forcing relationships (pages 110-137).

*Avoiding Manipulation and Lies**: Khoza discusses common lies men use to pursue intimacy, such as claiming to be single or exaggerating feelings (pages 65-72). He advises honesty and communication before dating (CBD) to build trust and avoid misunderstandings (pages 57-59).

Maintaining Independence**: The book emphasizes the importance of not losing oneself in a relationship. Khoza shares personal lessons about setting boundaries, maintaining self-respect, and prioritizing personal growth to avoid compromising too much for a partner (pages 159-165).

**Starting Over in Relationships**: Part Seven provides guidance on rebuilding relationships after breakups or challenges. It suggests taking time apart, using "I" statements for communication, focusing on what matters to each partner, and fostering mutual respect to create a healthier dynamic (pages 141-153).

Practical Dating Tips**: The book includes actionable advice, such as how to approach women in groups, market oneself effectively, and recognize signs of genuine interest versus manipulation. It also offers relationship questions to spark discussions with partners and tips for early transparency about personal values, finances, and past experiences (pages 154-158).

Overall, the book is a blend of personal anecdotes, practical dating strategies, and reflections on love, lust, and self-worth. It aims to empower readers, particularly men, to navigate the dating world confidently while fostering honest and meaningful relationships. The tone is conversational and direct, often drawing from Khoza's own successes and mistakes in the "game" of dating.