My Custom Van
And 52 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face
Michael Ian Black
- Get
- ready
- for
- the
- read
- of
- your
- life.
- Never
- before
- has
- a
- single
- book
- combined
- awesome
- vans,
- unicorns,
- Billy
- Joel,
- and
- erotic
- fiction
- in
- such
- a
- potent
- combination.
- A
- writing
- tour
- de
- force?
- Perhaps.
- A
- reading
- experience
- that
- will
- sear
- itself
- into
- your
- consciousness
- like
- a
- red-hot
- branding
- iron?
- Without
- question.Comedian
- and
- basic
- cable
- superstar
- Michael
- Ian
- Black
- unleashes
- the
- full
- fury
- of
- his
- astonishing
- intellect
- in
- this
- collection
- of
- short
- comic
- essays.
- My
- Custom
- Van
- is
- a
- no-holds-barred
- assault
- to
- the
- funny
- bone
- that
- will
- literally
- beat
- you
- into
- submission
- with
- hilarity*.How
- did
- he
- do
- it?
- How
- did
- he
- create
- such
- a
- fine
- anthology?
- Answer:
- With
- love.
- Michael
- opened
- his
- heart
- and
- used
- the
- magical
- power
- of
- love
- to
- write
- more
- than
- fifty
- thought-provoking
- essays
- like,
- "Why
- I
- Used
- a
- Day-Glo
- Magic
- Marker
- to
- Color
- My
- Dick
- Yellow,"
- and
- "An
- Open
- Letter
- to
- the
- Hair
- Stylist
- Who
- Somehow
- Convinced
- Me
- to
- Get
- a
- Perm
- When
- I
- Was
- in
- Sixth
- Grade."Maybe
- you
- think
- love
- is
- not
- a
- substitute
- for
- "good
- writing
- skills"
- and
- "spell
- check."
- Bull
- pucky!
- When
- it
- comes
- to
- writing
- books,
- love
- is
- the
- most
- powerful
- word
- processor
- of
- all.Sounds
- pretty
- great,
- right?
- And
- yet...something
- is
- still
- holding
- you
- back
- from
- paying
- the
- full
- purchase
- price
- of
- this
- book.
- What
- is
- it?
- Perhaps
- you
- secretly
- believe
- you
- do
- not
- deserve
- a
- book
- this
- good.
- Nonsense
- --
- you
- deserve
- this
- book
- and
- so
- much
- more.
- In
- fact,
- if
- Michael
- could
- have
- written
- you
- all
- the
- stars
- in
- the
- sky,
- that's
- what
- he
- would
- have
- done.
- But
- he
- couldn't
- do
- that,
- due
- to
- his
- lack
- of
- knowledge
- in
- the
- area
- of
- astronomy.
- So
- he
- wrote
- this
- book
- instead.And
- this
- flap
- copy.Enjoy.*
- Michael
- Ian
- Black
- is
- not
- responsible
- for
- any
- actual
- injuries
- caused
- by
- reading
- this book.
pro-mbooks3 : libris
