How to Be Nothing by the Majestic Man

Nothing ended. It was only adjusted.

How to Be Nothing is a darkly satirical novel about modern disappearance—about what happens when a person is no longer punished, pursued, or destroyed, but quietly allowed to exist without relevance.

The Majestic Man was once excessive, dangerous, and certain of himself. He lived loudly, crossed lines professionally, and mistook appetite for freedom. Now he wakes up old, relocated, and inexplicably permitted to continue. There are no guards. No threats. No explanations. Just a polite absence of consequence and a growing sense that nothing further is expected of him.

Exile, it turns out, does not require borders.
It requires scheduling.

Set among the pensioners, immigrants, and leftover empires of Brighton Beach, the novel follows a man learning how to survive after survival is no longer impressive. Around him, the residue of the 1990s lingers—gangsters in retirement, former power reduced to anecdotes, protection that protects nothing. Violence still exists, but it no longer decides outcomes. Everything important now happens quietly.

Running parallel is the story of an ordinary woman whose life begins to malfunction in small, deniable ways. A bus that never arrives but is never canceled. A badge that stops working. A job that reposts itself. Accounts marked inactive. Names shortened. No accusations. No errors. Just an invisible process steadily narrowing her world.

Together, these stories reveal a shared truth: modern power does not announce itself. It does not knock. It updates.

Darkly funny, bleak, and unsentimental, How to Be Nothing blends procedural horror, literary noir, and post-Soviet fatalism into a novel obsessed with waiting rooms, delays, and the quiet violence of being processed correctly. This is not a redemption story. It is not a rebellion fantasy. Nothing is resolved. Everything functions as intended.

What remains is hesitation—the small, dangerous pause between prompt and response—and the unsettling realization that being ignored may be worse than being punished.

This is Book One of The Temporary Arrangements Series.

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