On his seventeenth birthday, Jojo wishes on a green streak in the Las Vegas sky for something real to happen.
He should have been more specific.
The beings that appear in his backyard don't probe. They don't invade. They curate. Their civilization runs on a principle called "uhhsthetic": perfect loops, closed narratives, nothing wasted. They find humanity revolting, the way a gallery owner finds a stain on white carpet.
Jojo, with his IBS, his Flamin' Hot Cheetos, and his gift for making messes, is the worst thing they've ever seen. They take him anyway.
What follows is three years of alien technology no one else can see, evidence no one believes, and a confrontation in a supermarket at 2 AM that may decide whether humanity is worth keeping as an art form.
Inspired by the absurdist tradition of real UFO encounters (space pancakes, stolen chickens, and all), Uhhsthetic is a first-contact story where the real question isn't survival. It's whether chaos has value in a universe obsessed with elegance.
Approximately 15,000 words.